We first met during a 4-H weekend retreat. One of the older girls in the group introduced us. It was not love at first sight then, in fact you actually made me sick to my stomach. I felt gross and nauseated , I was only 14 years old.
Then the next year you came back around again. We re-connected while driving down Route 34 in my friend Stacy Johnson’s car. My Mother hated you and Stacy, she forbid me from being with either of you. I didn’t care what my Mother thought I wanted you in my life.
I remember when my Mother found you, It was in the middle of the night. My mother came in my room to close the windows because a storm had rolled in and it was pouring rain. She found you in my room sitting in the window sill, Mom slammed the window waking me up and screamed for Gene to come into my room. I was frightened scared to death but willing to take the beating for you and I .
My mother grabbed the belt and lashed at me over and over until finally Gene intervened and made her stop. Mom was screaming at me, saying how horrible you were and that because of you I now am a nasty dirty bitch. Gene grabbed the belt and stopped her from attacking me . I sobbed and went back to sleep
Our Love would last , you and I were together again when we went to live with my Father. Dad was not fond of you but he did not forbid us from being together. Dad ended up enjoying your company even more then I did.
For years to come you helped me survive the reality of daily life . Many dark lonely nights we sat on the patio together wondering and wishing life was different , crying about mistakes we made , friends we had lost and grieving family members that had abandoned us. During our quiet intimate moments we also relived all the good times we shared, trips we took and how fortunate we were.
You met all my friends there were only a few I kept you from. But they knew you existed.
Friends , family members and Doctors tried many times to tear us apart saying we were no good for each other. I would try and live without you but I couldn’t do it. We always found our way back to each other.
Recently I started falling out of love with you , I am stronger and different now. I have grown and my life is changing . I realized you just didn’t fit in anymore and were part of the old baggage that I had . Sorry that I had to walk out on you that night at our friends house, leaving you sitting at their table. It was time and this time the decision was mine.
We have not been together for awhile now and its been hard , many sleepless nights without you. For days after I asked you to leave , I missed your smell and the way you comforted me.
Goodbye Mr. Cigarette we had a long committed love affair. From time to time I will think of you and all we shared together.
More then cigarettes I miss my beautiful Nalla Cat . It’s been almost two months since she passed away. Wish I had her back for one more day.