I am really opening myself up with this post. The past few day’s my heart has been heavy. I miss my Grandson Anthony. It’s best for me to write about it and not stuff my feelings. My Grandson Anthony’s Mother is Ali. Not to be confused with my eldest offspring who is also named Anthony.
Anthony is perfect, He is funny, witty and extremely smart beyond his years. He is adorable and the only child other then my son Lance that I spent over an hour in a video game store. Anthony was searching for the perfect games to rent and could not decide.
Anthony is kind and thoughtful of others. He washes his hands when he is finished using the bathroom without being asked. (Most kids are never taught this and it disgusts me) He is very polite and always says please and thank you.
Some of Anthony’s favorite activities he loved to do when visiting my home was cleaning. One of the reasons he won my heart. Anthony loves to vacuum and wash dishes and be helpful. Even with his domestic side he is all boy. Ronnie and Anthony would play video games together all night and he would be so excited when he beat “Papa”.
Anthony loved having me read him books when he spent the night and would cuddle in bed with us. Anthony insisted on sleeping between Ronnie and I. We would read the same book several times and then Anthony would want a movie usually Scooby Do. Anthony would watch Scooby Do and I would fall asleep. If I turned away from him while sleeping he would wake me up every time and say, “Nana put your face by me”.
In my nightstand there was a drawer that almost always had M&M’S. One night after he watched Scooby Do for the 2nd time Anthony woke me up. I woke up to Anthony tapping on my face with his adorable face inches away, he wanted M&M’S. Not fully awake I grabbed the bag from the drawer and handed him the M&M’S. The next morning I realized I had gave my Grandson a full bag on M&M’S. He got me that time!!
My favorite memory of Anthony was one night we were all tucked in our bed sound asleep and suddenly Anthony woke up with a faint scream. I asked Anthony what was wrong and he said, “I had a bad dream, there was a squirrel in my dream and I went to touch him and he said Boo.” Oh my gosh, I tried so hard to contain my laughter while attempting to comfort him.
Anthony never complained or whined when he was at our house and always begged to stay longer when his Mom picked him up. His laugh was contagious and smile would melt my heart.
Anthony is precious and is missed by Ronnie and I both. I have never really missed a family member like I do Anthony. It’s sad that Ali and I could not manage a relationship that lasted beyond a few month’s. I accept a lot of the blame for our failed attempts and part of me wishes this last time of re-connecting would of never happened. It just made my heart break even more.
What triggered my sadness this week was when I opened the sideboard in our living room. Inside the sideboard was the small storage container that held the money I gave Anthony when he visited. Anthony will forever hold a special place in my heart.
Awww I’m sorry you can’t see him. Sending hugs to you xo
I know , that is why I am always so hesitant in forming bonds. The pain will pass it always does. I never developed this kind of bond with my oldest daughters kids.
I know , that is why I am always so hesitant in forming bonds. The pain will pass it always does.
i hope one day you can see him again. i understand not being able to form bonds.
I think holding on to the precious memories is enough.
I’m glad you have them even though it hurts at times 🙂
Me too. The hurt will pass and the good memories will be cherished.
held close to your heart.
Becki, are you not seeing him at all? No grandparents visitation? Does he live far? If he is close by, and its possible, you should see about having him once a week, once every few weeks or whatever works. Its hard on a child to form that bond and then have no contact whatsoever. I had to fight to see my grandchild but it was so worth it and she and I are so close because I did pursue it.
No I can’t see him. His mother is the child I gave up for adoption. When she is angry with me she takes him away. I just miss him and needed to get it out. i was hoping to help care for him this summer and we had talked about taking him to Disneyland for his Birthday. There is nothing better then seeing Disneyland through a childs eyes.
No I can’t see him. His mother is the child I gave up for adoption. When she is angry with me she takes him away. I just miss him and needed to get it out. I was hoping to help care for him this summer and we had talked about taking him to Disneyland for his Birthday. There is nothing better then seeing Disneyland through a child’s eyes.
I am sorry Becki. That is so hard. Maybe someday she will allow him to see you. Grandchildren are so amazing. I will say a prayer for you and for him. Someday he will look you up.
Thanks Eva
I’m so sorry…my heart breaks for you.
Hold on to hope that someday (maybe soon) you’ll be reunited!
To much damage has been done on my end and his mothers. Both of us have a very difficult time honoring each others boundaries.
Children have a way of wrapping themselves around our hearts, don’t they? I’m sorry for your pain.
I know how much it hurts to miss a child. I’m sorry you are feeling this.
Melanie I miss Anthony a lot. I was really looking forward to Disneyland this year with him and spending more time with him this summer. I wish Ali would of never sucked me in when she had that accident. Everything was going just fine until then. I should of stayed out of that mess.
I wish Erik had never sucked me into his delusional world either.
I know it hurts. What she did is unforgivable.
Bless you
Sorry you are hurting xB
It will pass and thank you
No chance of Ali allowing him to visit because he and you like each other? Could you put it to her that way? Just a thought.
Scott
No that is out of the question. She wants him to have nothing to do with me.
That is too bad. In all aspects, punishing him for something between you two. Sad, but happens all the time.
Scott
I agree, he has been in and out of my life so many times I am sure it does not phase him. he has been told how horrible I am so he probably at this point would not want to see me.
That may not be true. My ex told our daughter some very mean things about me. My daughter was angry at me for awhile, but it didn’t make sense, so she finally asked me. I sat down and explained it to her for a couple of hours. She is no longer mad…at me.
I hope one day to see my Grandson, Ronnie and I talk about him everyday. I miss him and was hoping to have him at my house a lot this summer.
I hope that works out.
I hope one day Scott
So sorry on this also, I see you already have this, but I am seconding you on this one. Hey I nominated you for: http://blueribbonfair.wordpress.com/2013/07/11/so-happy-the-wordpress-family-award/ I am worn out and finished finally with the award and am not switching you out, so you a double on this one from me. You deserve it. Prayers for you always.