It’s Just A Funk !!

Sooooo… I have not checked my blog for 6 days.. That’s a first since I started my blog back in October. In fact it’s also been several day’s since I even checked my email account.

I have been in a funk, a heavy funk in fact. There are several blog posts I have started and saved for the future. One is about rape another about my friend that passed away and my death experiences when I was stabbed.

My thoughts have been with a friend that passed recently , the questions I have about God, and mesothelioma. Also when August approaches each year I have a tendency to withdraw. My birthday is less then a week away and I hate that time of year. It’s depressing, not just because I am aging but birthdays as a child were horrible. I have been missing some family member’s especially my grandson Anthony. I feel like the clock is ticking to fast and time is running out for me in this life. I just don’t know how to fix anything !!!

I was blessed Thursday and Friday with the company of a friend and his partner that visited us from Renton Washington. We have been friends for 9 years and he is the most positive person I have ever met. He feels like I am not allowing my true personality to show in my blog. The funny part, the part of me that has so many friends and supporters that really enjoy my company.

Because I don’t feel much self worth it’s hard for me to look at myself the way others do. So he is going to help me with some posts in a couple weeks that I hope will bring laughter to my readers.

I checked my email account this morning  and there was an email from a regular blog reader asking me if I had stopped blogging. She also told me how much strength she has gained from reading my blog. This reader was attacked and stabbed 28 times and survived. That is why I blog , to help others gain strength. I try and give messages of hope in all the darkness that my blog contains.

Have a beautiful Sunday !!