Generally when the phrase, ” For The Hundredth Time” is used a negative comment follows. Have you heard this phrase? I also am guilty of using it negatively. Today’s post is the big.. ONE, ZERO, ZERO for me. Yep, for the hundredth time! For most bloggers this is not a milestone, for me its huge. Despite the criticism from the Grammar Police, I continued blogging. My feelings have been hurt from them and all their perfectness on many occasions. But I continued because it helps me to blog, and I know that my story has been one of empowerment to several readers. My goal with this blog has always been to reach out to others. Abuse was a dirty family secret while I was growing up. It was not to be shared with others. The pain boiled within me for decades, emotionally I was screwed up, repeatedly self destructing.
Chances are I will write another hundred blog posts about abuse, hoping to reach out to a child that finds me while searching on the internet for survival stories. I am a survivor, no longer am I that abused child that wished my mother would just kill me vs. continuing to repeatedly beat me and emotionally destroy me. The dirty little family secret is out. Maybe one child or an adult survivor of abuse will find me and realize its ok to first acknowledge the abuse, and then talk about it.
Many that are abused never seek therapy as it is so overwhelming to even think about sharing. I think this is true especially with female children that were violently abused by their mothers. A mother is supposed to nurture, care for and love her children unconditionally. My mothers horrific acts will forever be a part of who I am. The pain will never go away, its always there.
The holiday season is the worst for me, like I am sure it is for many. There never were those kitchen gatherings with a mothers love nor special recipes and holiday traditions that would be shared between mother and daughter. No cookies and pies made together. My mother instead complained and sometimes screamed and slammed the counter with her hate of all things festive and holiday related. Holidays were stressful, and full of anger and rage. She loathed her in-laws and dreaded having to see her sisters. Holidays meant she would need to force herself to be kind to me in front of family, and pretend like she was enjoying herself. She robbed me of the happiness of extended family gatherings. She was a horrible parent, wife and human being.
This year I am thankful for my friends, husband and for my 100th blog post. I am thankful that my story has helped others to seek help and reach out for strength. I am thankful that God is providing for myself and my husband to move and start another chapter in this crazy world. We are taking a huge leap of faith that no one else I know would embrace at our age. Please send positive thoughts our way during this transition and if you think of us say a little prayer. Ronnie and I deserve happiness and peace.
I also am thankful for all the bloggers that have and continue to inspire and encourage me.
Congrats Becki, I look forward to your next 100.
Thank you.
You two do deserve happiness and peace. A few times over, if you ask me. Enjoy the transition! May only safety and security follow you from Oregon to your next place.
Thanks Mel. Its hard to feel deserving.I am forcing myself to feel worthy… Lots of positive affirmations. Have a great day!
Woot woot! I’m fast approaching the big eight, zero, zero myself. I hope you make it there, too. 🙂
Wow, that’s awesome, what an accomplishment. That’s a huge goal for me. I will give it a shot… dream big huh?
Yes. I celebrated when I reached 100, too. It is truly an accomplishment. 🙂
If I was a brilliant writer as yourself and confident I would post daily. Thanks 100 seems like a lot to me. I don’t know how you and others are able to post daily. I know have time to catch up with all the bloggers I enjoy since we moved. The last month or so has been extremely hectic!
I don’t generally write daily except for this month because of NaBloPoMo. I’ve gone entire weeks without posting before. I try not to put too much stress on myself to post because it takes all the fun out of it.
That is a very good point. I want it to be fun.
Congrats on 100! Make new and wonderful memories this Christmas, in your new home! xo
Thanks Zoe
Congratulations! Sending you best wishes for your 100th post milestone and move.
As for the Grammar Police, some people have to find fault in everything. Ignore them – they obviously have nothing better to do.
Thanks, A blogger today brought up a good point about the Grammar Police, they are intellectually bullying. That was a good point.
A huge congratulations on your 100th. I just checked mine and it’s 64. I will pay attention so I celebrate my 100th like you have. I am saying a prayer for you and yours. You deserve all the happiness and will have it. Amen.
Thank you, 100 is a huge deal for me. Looking forward to your 100th. sending you happiness and peace in your life as well.
Gracias 🙂
Hey Beautiful Becki !
Congratsss ! This is just one step further to your great journey…Just keep flourishing. May God bless you dear 🙂
Thanks, and what a journey this is. Thankfully life is good and I .am continually blessed daily.
Have a great rest of your weekend.
Becki