I debated with myself about sharing on my blog portions of an email that Ali sent to me. For those of you that are not familiar with Ali, she is my youngest daughter that I placed for adoption in Oregon years ago. Her adoption was an open adoption, which means I knew the family that adopted her. Ali is 26 years old and we have always had a love hate relationship.
This past week has been extremely productive, I skyped with a casting director in New York in regards to a pilot for a TV show about survival. The casting director is now pitching my story to the network. A film company in London also has interest in my story and contacted me. So the wheels are turning and moving forward in the direction I had hoped for. My book is taking longer to publish, only because I want it completed and properly introduced to the audience I am targeting.
Due to my story having an increased interest last week, I decided to finally set up a LinkedIn account. During the first few steps of setting up LinkedIn it asked me to add email contacts, I clicked yes. That was a huge mistake. LinkedIn sent emails to everyone I had ever emailed or emailed me. Holy crap, I had no clue. Within minutes my G-Mail was flooded with people asking who I was. People I had sold items to on Craigslist were sent invites to join with me on LinkedIn, people I had purchased items from as well. Car dealers that I had requested quotes from, my doctor and dental office’s, you get the picture of how this went! And of course Ali was sent one. So instead of ignoring it , she contacts me.
She emails me asking if I contacted her. I said, “No LinkedIn did”, and apologized for the contact. Ali answers back. “Ok cool thanks,” I respond, “Sorry for the contact, take good care.” At that point, I thought the email conversation was over. We both handled the contact well and all is good right??? Nope, wrong ,it’s never good, that would just be too perfect and what normal people do. Never would she allow it to end civil, she has to attack. I will admit, she was subtle, at first she wrote about that she also is leaving the state of Oregon within 30 days, and her adopted father had already secured a house. Her adopted father was currently in Oregon helping her pack and listing their condo in Oregon to sell.
Then she wrote that she was going to allow my grandson to say good-bye to me before they left, but because she was un-happy with me she decided not to. She knows I adore my grandson, but I have not been allowed to see him since last February when I made her mad, so why in the heck would she even think I would want to see him for a moment to just say good-bye. Stupidity, just plain stupidity! Crazy making at its finest once again ! Thus the reason I am even writing about this. Most members of my blood family for generations are nut cases, they are cruel, hateful, vindictive and that is what a huge part of this blog is about. Now I will quote a portion of her email to me exactly how it was written. Here goes……
“I’ve gotton word that you are leaving also but I don’t believe everything behind the story of why or about where you are going so don’t email me back making it seem all glamorous because I know it’s not. I wish you the best of luck. There is no need for us to speak or ever see each other again. My family has taken lance in as heir own we spend holidays and special events together (not that you care about how lance is doing). Take care Becki”
First of all glamorous to me would be moving to Dubai, glamorous is Princess Di, Grace Kelly, and Diana Ross. I have never thought moving was glamorous. Am I excited, you bet your britches I am. Am I happy we are no longer on Applegate drive in our house, you bet I/we are. We are still in transition for another 30 days with our life in boxes, but that feels super, we are on our way out of this state.
Ali’s reference to my youngest son Lance was a direct hurtful message, I am happy that everything is unicorns, rainbows and glitter for them. That all is just peachy keen. What she wanted from me in a return response to her email, was an attack. She doesn’t get that from me anymore. What is wonderful is I don’t even feel that in my heart, my blood pressure didn’t rise when I read her email. I laughed only because I knew before she sent it, that she could never possibly let it end with me apologizing for the contact. There had to be at least one more stab to my heart, and of course I knew without a doubt it would involve my grandson and Lance. I saw it coming, because I used to be the same way. Filled with hate, anger and rage at the world. I can’t even bring myself to go there anymore.
There is still pain in my heart, I wish my children were kind people and that they could get beyond their anger toward me. Looking at the big picture their anger stemmed from very small issues that most families would resolve by sitting down and talking it out. Not through email, or texts. Not one of them ever has sat face to face with me, talking out issues in person has never, ever , ever happened. Ronnie has always told them and me that when you email or text during a fight feelings don’t get relayed properly. A person says things they may never say in a face to face conversation , and your message is colder and distant and generally misconstrued in a short text or email. It was just last week when I thought about this, then I realized none of us has ever sat face to face during a disagreement. How sad is that?