Nine hundred sixty five days , 965 days between our knife wielding attackers. I was starting to heal, feeling stronger, I landed a great job with the TOPS program in Portland Oregon. My position was assistant case worker for women transitioning from county, state and federal institutions back into the community. TOPS was an impatient program, located in downtown Portland at the YWCA. Yes, I once worked for The Department Of Corrections. I was offered a fantastic compensation package and I loved my position. Outside of having to collect urine samples from our residents to send to Parole and Probation , and an occasional visit from the US Marshalls when called upon to escort a non complying resident back to jail, it was a good gig. My dream was, one day become a therapist for women and children escaping domestic violence. I also was serving on a Board of Director’s as the Chair Of Fundraising at the largest Domestic Violence Resource Center in Washington County. My son’s were in therapy, we were healing from my vicious attack.
June 12, 1994 Nicole Brown-Simpson and Ronald Goldman were viciously attacked with a knife and left for dead, I was attacked 965 days prior. I do NOT CARE what any ones opinion is, OJ Simpson killed Nicole and Ron, Robert Kardashian hid evidence that would of convicted OJ.
During my youth I loved football and OJ Simpson was a favorite player of mine. OJ was interviewed on TV regarding Nicole and Ron’s death, I knew OJ killed them. A stranger did not kill Nicole and Ron. My initial gut instinct was why is OJ lying? He killed them, he killed them, end of story! I KNEW with my entire being OJ was guilty, I could see it in his eyes. OJ Simpson is going to prison, he will get the death penalty. My love for OJ turned to hate, over the next few months my contempt and pure hatred for OJ deepened. I knew how it felt to be stabbed, a knife thrusting and gouging my skin deeper and deeper, piercing unbearable pain, each thrust caused blood to spout from every direction covering my body the carpet the walls while I fought to survive. I was stabbed 21 times. My body was covered from head to toe in gapping wounds. By the grace of God my life was sparred, Nicole and Ron were dead.
I became obsessed with the case against OJ, each and every day I watched TV, the trial, AC Cowlings driving the Bronco down the California freeway with OJ in the back seat. I wanted the police to shoot and kill Simpson, why were the allowing him to make a spectacle of his horrific act. He’s a killer !! My hate grew deeper, at one point I contemplated and thought out a plan to drive to LA and kill him myself. How dare he deny these murders ! How dare the public allow shady high priced attorney’s to possibly convince a jury to set this asshole , narcissistic killer free. I was sickened that any “normal” person actually thought he was innocent.
Over the next few months I feel into a deep depression, I couldn’t stay away from the news, I would scream at OJ’s defenders on TV. Every week I missed work , couldn’t get out of bed away from the TV and trial. My personal life began to fall apart. My friendships deteriorated, I was unable to see that I was self destructing. I felt guilty being alive, why was I sparred and not Nicole and Ron. My anger turned to rage, PTSD took control of me and I was unable to stop my “cleaning binges” , I continued to take my sons to therapy but was unable to make my own therapy appointments. Finally, I was fired from the job and future career I dreamed of. I attempted suicide, waking up to police standing over me while I lay on the side of an old friends house , half way in the bushes. There was no rhyme or reason why I ended up there, I had walked over 3 miles after taking over a hundred pills. I was carrying pictures and a CD of Aaron Neville. A neighbor of my friend saw me laying on the side of the house when he walked down the driveway to retrieve the morning newspaper. The neighbor tried shaking me and I didn’t respond. He called 911 and the fire department and police took over, once again my life was saved. Thank God I had enough sense to not drive my car that night.
It has been 8270 days since I was stabbed, 8270 days ago my life was sparred. I am still furious that OJ was set free, I have a very good idea of the pain Nicole and Ron suffered on June 12, 1994. Tomorrow will be 7305 days ago these beautiful people’s life was cut short over jealousy, its the 20th anniversary.
I have healed and am blessed, why I am still here has yet to be determined. Tomorrow , June 12th take a moment to think of Nicole, Ron, their family and friends. Also take a moment to think of all the domestic violence victims that died and pray that the ones that are still under attack find the strength to escape and live healthy lives.
As far as OJ he will die in prison.
Remember, this is my blog and my feelings, ….I REFUSE TO POST OR ALLOW ANY COMMENTS IN SUPOORT OF OJ NOW OR EVER ON MY BLOG.