Yes, He Was My Friend Before He Stabbed Me

The project I’ve been involved with has brought up many questions about the man that stabbed me. Interviewers are very curious about what type of man would escalate to the point, that he grabs a butcher knife and plunges that knife through a woman’s chest. I do not have a solid answer as to who or why. Would a Criminal Profiler know? Probably not. I am continually told it is a crime of passion, a crime of sudden rage and not premeditated.

Luis,the man that stabbed me was my friend for over a year before he tried to kill me. My sons day care care provider Carol, introduced me to Luis. Luis was Carol’s husbands friend. Luis and his cousin Martine, moved from Florida to Oregon to be near Luis’s younger sister. I always sensed there was more to the story about his move across country, but I never asked him any questions. He would talk about Florida and his fond experiences there. Luis never mentioned former girlfriends and I never brought up sperm donor.

When I developed new friendships after sperm donor, I kept him out of conversation until I felt comfortable enough in the friendship. Luis never asked me much about my past, and I never questioned his.Our friendship developed quickly because of our love for older restored cars. We ran into each other at a few of these Friday night “cruise in” car shows. Local enthusiasts would gather on summer nights to show off their hot rods and custom modifications to classic American cars. I owned one of these classics and was pretty proud to stand out in a sea of testosterone. Luis owned two.

My car always drew a lot of attention because it had a Hemi and was fast. Not the typical car of a mother with two small sons.The “cruise in” car shows would usually last a couple hours. My friend Carol would babysit my sons while I enjoyed a couple hours of adult time. Carol’s husband would be with Luis at the “cruise in”. When I left the car show to pick up my sons at Carol’s house, Luis would arrive at the same time dropping off Carol’s husband.

Carol’s six kids, yes six, would be running and playing outside with my eldest son. My youngest son, still in his walker would be watching the older kids and their antics. Carol would always convince me to stay and hang out. Of course Luis stayed too. My sons both were fond of Luis and my eldest son would always beg Luis to raise his “low rider” Grand Prix up and down.

Luis and his interaction with my sons is what led to my willingness to spend more time together. Luis was always a gentleman to me, opened doors, carried groceries, brought occasional flowers for no special reason. Offered to wash and wax my car, change the oil. When he came by my apartment he always asked me if I needed the trash taken out. He offered to help with little things sperm donor would of never considered doing.

Soon we started having movie nights at my apartment, maybe his or at a mutual friends house. He would rent the movie, pick up snacks purchase dinner and always a little gift or treat for my boys. We became closer, I considered him one of my closest friends. We started attending the “cruise ins” together, both of our cool cars parked side by side. Attendees saw us as a couple.

The national car show came to the Portland Convention Center, Luis called me and invited my sons and I to go with him, his treat.After the show we would drop the boys at Carol’s to catch a movie and dinner and he was going to pay Carol to babysit. While drooling over a Ferrari at the car show, one of the lady’s that was standing at the red velvet rope protecting that Ferrari from visitors greasy fingerprints, leaned over and said to me, “Your husband is so hot.” I said, “He’s not my husband.” When we walked away I looked backed and she was winking at Luis. He asked me, “What did she say to you?” I told him and Luis asked me,”Why didn’t you at least say I was your boyfriend?” I told Luis we hadn’t had a “relationship status” conversation. Luis then leaned toward my ear and said, ” I’m your boyfriend.”

Luis and I went on our date that night, the movie was Pretty Woman, we had dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant, picked up the boys at Carol’s. Luis drove me home, carried my youngest son into my apartment placed him in his crib and kissed me on the forehead goodbye. He didn’t ask if he could spend the night, hang out or jump into my bed.

For months I was happy, my sons were happy, Luis was happy. Just a bunch of happiness and fun that I had not experienced in years. For a Birthday gift Luis gave me one of his Grand Prix’s. We traveled multiple times to the Oregon and Washington coast with my sons. Life seemed pleasant and I felt safe. I had a great new male friend that was not abusive, a decent job, two happy handsome little boys a roof over my head, what more could I ask for.

That’s a little about the man that attacked and stabbed me 21 times.

There were signs of aggression later that caused me to attempt to end the relationship, but not the typical violence you would expect, or that I grew accustomed to at a very young age

Why would ANYONE, male or female grab a butcher knife from a cutting board and plunge that knife into another persons chest? I don’t have an answer for that.

When I was in the hospital recovering from Luis attacking and stabbing me, I found out he had been married while living in Florida. His wife was brutally killed and found in a field. There was never an arrest and he was not a suspect. Did he kill her? My guess is yes.

Where is Luis now? No one seems to know, he supposedly left the country, but that has not been confirmed.

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59 Responses to Yes, He Was My Friend Before He Stabbed Me

  1. Melanie says:

    Out of the country is the best place for Luis.

  2. joynpain2 says:

    Was it hard for you to be able to trust people again after the attack by your “best friend”?

  3. I can’t imagine how you picked up the pieces after something like that. To put yourself and your sense of life back together shows you have such resilience and hope.

    • There are still pieces all over I yet to put back together. Maybe one day πŸ™‚ Life is still somewhat of a mess. It’s getting better and I seem to have a greater balance. This last year has been better thanks to people like you and some great therapy.

  4. Brenda says:

    I can’t believe you could survive that or that he could get away with that. I’m so sad for you and your two boys. How scary it must have been.

    • A miracle for sure, its surprising I remember the attack so vividly, I wish I didn’t ,even more I wish it never happened. My children were definitely affected immensely.

      • Brenda says:

        My hear aches for your pain, but you are the phoenix. You have another life. I hope you have more loving people in your life this time. Blessings, Brenda

  5. Deborah says:

    It is absolutely shocking what you have been through. And the complete violation of trust. I truly admire your willingness to share your story, even though it must be terrible to relive it in any form. On the other hand, it’s impossible to get away from it. A nightmare that you can never totally wake from. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    • Thank you Deborah, it is a nightmare and haunts me on occasion. Sometimes it just shocks me that it even happened. I am thankful for my kind, loving husband. It took awhile for me to truly trust him. Thanks for your prayers friend.

  6. goldfish says:

    Eesh, Becki. I’m so glad you’re here to talk about it. Scary business.

  7. I don’t “like” your story, I am sad this happen to you and I am sad this is still happening to people every day. What I do love is your story telling abilities, so if you never had a experience such as this you have a way of writing it where the reader feels as though they experienced it with you, and are still able to relate, (only way I can describe when I read your posts). I also like you explaining “Hey, this guy was supposed to be a “friend of a friend”, he came with references”, so what gives? Some people pass the creepster test, and fool everyone. When you wrote “Just a bunch of happiness and fun I have not experienced in years”, just made me sadder. Great post.

    NIBSIH

    • Thank you NIBSIH, Luis fooled many. Lord knows I am not a sophisticated or eloquent writer. I attempt to tell my story as if we are sitting in my living room chatting. I appreciate you taking the time to stop by. I don’t know how a person would be able to detect Luis’s ultimate behavior. It’s very scary. I watch real life stories of Doctor’s, Lawyers, and the average guy and gals on TV whose victims were not as fortunate as I. It can be anyone I guess if a person snaps. He was a good friend and I would of never suspected he would try and kill me.

  8. I don’t know if he has a record, but it recently came across this resource:

    VINE: Active in 47 states, VineLink.com allows women to search for an offender in custody by name or identification number, then register to be alerted if the offender has been released or transferred, or has escaped.
    http://www.vinelink.com

    Be safe my friend, you are a walking miracle, Diana

  9. JackieP says:

    It always boggles my mind that anyone who states “I love you” would try to kill you. Or if you don’t return their feelings they try to kill you. I”m glad you lived through it and I’m glad you are in a better place now. My gut instinct is yes, he killed his wife. Scary stuff. Hugs!

    • Boggles my mind as well. I am fairly certain he killed his wife also. It’s a shame there has never been ay follow up from the Florida authorities. I am certain DNA existed. Hope you are staying warm up North. XXOO

  10. Pandionna says:

    I have no words. What a tragic and brutal betrayal. My heart goes out to you.

  11. I admire you for having the courage, the guts, to write about your trauma. Sorry, I can’t find any words adequate to the task here. What you have been through is beyond words. I have PTSD and very few memories of any of the traumatic events of my past, but when I’ve tried to write about the small bits I do remember, I flip out. Flashback City. Yet here you are, sharing the kind of trauma I can’t imagine. You are one hell of a survivor!

    • Barbara, There is so much I wish I didn’t remember. I can’t remember a medical appointment written on my calendar. But I remember every time my mother struck me and what she was wearing. I remember every tear of my flesh when I was stabbed. I remember the stench of the SOB’S that raped me. It’s taken years to write about the trauma, and it’s not an easy project. I can’t tell you how many times I have just froze in front of my computer. But I have a job, to write for all that didn’t survive. To be available to cry with those that for years stuffed their pain and grief.
      Sending you peace and love,
      Becki

      • barbaramarincel says:

        Trauma imprints itself on the brain like nothing else. I hope your writing helps, even a little bit.

  12. It seems very strange to hit the ‘like’ button on this. However, getting to out there is no bad thing for you or for others. You are a courageous woman. far easy it would be to simply bury it and try to keep it down. Wishing the best in everything. MM πŸ€

  13. Jade Reyner says:

    Oh my goodness. I don’t know what to say Becki. Not only did you have your horrendous injuries to cope with but you also had to deal with the knowledge that they were inflicted by someone that you trusted and love – and that your children trusted. I cannot believe that you have rebuilt your life in the way that you have and I echo everyone else’s comments. I truly admire your bravery for sharing this story. And I will be putting your post together in the next day or so.

    • Jade Reyner says:

      Sorry.. that should say trusted and loved…(past tense for definite!)

    • Jade, Thanks for being supportive and a great friend. As angry as I have been at times in my life, I could never imagine harming anyone in the manner Luis attacked me. It’s been a difficult situation to wrap my mind around. Thank you for the willingness to post. Have a great day

  14. AR Neal says:

    While I have no words about this man, let me say that you are a strong, beautiful, and powerful force against pain and evil. I am honored to be in your community. (Hugs)

  15. Kev says:

    There’s no wonder police always suspect someone close when a murder has taken place. It must ring true that it’s usually someone they know…I’m surprised you live after being stabbed so many time and by someone you had trusted. It has to be absolutely horrific.

  16. The worst ones are always so charming – or so I’m told.

    You have an incredible amount of strength to post things like this and to allow others in on your life.

    • Yes they are the worst one’s, should of been a clear sign to me. But I wanted to trust someone so desperately and that didn’t work out very well. Thank you for your encouraging words.

  17. Just Patty says:

    Wow Becki! That’s such a heavy story. Besides the wounds from the actual attack, I can not even imagine the scars this must have left on your soul. You are very brave and strong for sharing your story.
    Sending you lots of love and hugz
    Patty

    • My soul is healing, I have wonderful loving friends and a compassionate, caring husband. WP has been a great release, one of the best decision I ever made in my life was to blog. Thank you for sharing in my journey in recovery.
      Becki

  18. Abby says:

    So scary. What amazes me us how these abusers are so easily able to be normal and wonderful in one moment and dangerous and crazy in the next. I too remember the wonderful times before the abuse.
    I am just so glad that you are safe now. Thanks for sharing with us

  19. Denise Hisey says:

    Betrayal that deep must be so difficult to heal from, not to mention the physical healing.

  20. suzjones says:

    Hi Becki,
    As you know I have been following your story. It is tragic in the extreme.
    I was interested in the statement made by a fellow commenter “How can a person who says that they love you, try to kill you”? I could also ask, How can a person who says they love you belittle you in front of others and control your life in various ways?
    I guess it is one of life’s great mysteries to those of us without psychological background to know the answers to this.
    I believe however that those who survive trauma and abuse do so for a reason.

    • I do not understand either, at least my mother actually never told me once in my life, even as a child that she loved me. So torture and beatings from her were understandable. Plain and simple she hated the very sight of me. A message I heard on a daily basis. But one someone tells you they love you then thrusts a knife through your body 21 times that’s a pretty mixed message.

      A person that belittles you, only is trying to build themselves up by doing so. It’s sick..

      I hope there is a reason I survived for a reason. A very good reason, looking forward to finding out why πŸ™‚

      Becki

      • suzjones says:

        I was listening to Wayne Dyer the other day and he said (about finding our purpose) – “Sometimes you’ve got to just show up – then music happens. It will show up where and when it’s needed. Prepare and then let go.”
        You purpose will find you. πŸ™‚

      • I am ready for it to show up!

      • suzjones says:

        Do you think that by telling your story, you may be reaching out to others and showing them that there is life after abuse?
        Maybe that is your purpose. To be the light shining in the darkness for those who are suffering? To listen. To empathise. To encourage.
        Continue to do what you have been doing so far. Ask yourself each day “How can I serve”? By helping others, you are sowing the seeds of happiness in your own life and being a ray of hope to others.
        Maybe that is your purpose. πŸ™‚

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